woman / eating alone

Hello Kat,

Thanks for stopping by Kyoto Support and posting your question.

Regarding customs; Japanese customs are very different from other parts of the world, especially non-Asians cultures. Of course this is one of the things that makes Japan a very interesting place to visit. However, Japanese are very sophisticated in their understanding of Japan and other cultures. Japanese don’t expect visitors from abroad to behave just like Japanese. Japanese are most happy to see people visiting and appreciating Japan, even if you don’t do everything just like a native.

If you just use common sense, be polite, friendly, modest and so on, you should have no trouble. Just try to pay attention to what others do.

Cleanliness and Shoes in Japanese Culture

Do observe Japanese customs related to cleanliness, especially regarding shoes. In Japanese culture, shoes are dirty. And, in fact, shoes usually really are dirty, if you think about it. Check out a public restroom, especially a men’s public restroom anywhere in the world to confirm this.

There are two kinds of steps in Japan, wooden and stone or concrete. Wood is ‘clean’ and stone is ‘dirty’. That means, take your shoes off BEFORE stepping on anything wood. If a step is stone or concrete, you step on to it then take your shoes off. Actually, many Japanese today don’t know this rule. Just remember that pebbles stuck in your shoe treads will scratch and gouge wood, however they won’t bother stone and concrete.

Exploring and Eating on Your Own

Sorry, I don’t quite understand this point. If you could clarify a bit I will try to reply.

WiFi in Hotel Rooms

Free WiFi is not common here. Most hotels DO NOT yet offer it. Ethernet in hotels is common, though it is often fairly expensive. There is one new hotel that does offer free WiFi I heard, let me check the name, I can’t recall it at the moment.

I understand, I think. The question is, as a woman alone, is there anything specific one ought to know about eating out, going out, being in places alone, etc.?

Yes.

1. Before you eat at a restaurant of any kind, at an ordinary meal-time, just look inside a bit — a quick glance through the window or a briefly-opened door will do it. Here are your questions: How thick is the smoke? Are there any women? If so, are they young, smoking, dressed “hot,” and with men?

If there’s minimal or no smoking, go ahead.

If there are middle-aged women, go ahead.

If there are women of any age sitting with one another, go ahead.

If the air is thick with smoke and the only women are young, smoking, dressed for “action,” and with men, give it a pass.

Not that anything will happen, probably, but the atmosphere is not going to be super-comfortable. This is a bar-restaurant aimed at men and/or women who (at the moment) want to appear a bit wild.

2. At lunchtime, restaurants divide into three groups: male, female, and mixed. Male means guys bolting ramen and running. Female means OLs (office ladies) or groups of non-working (at the moment, anyway) women having a fun lunch together. Mixed means a family restaurant. If you want good food, go for female: the salary men don’t care. If you’re starving, it doesn’t matter, but a family restaurant will probably be more comfortable. Every terrific lunch at a non-super-expensive place I have had here has been at a place where I am pretty much the only male customer.

3. The thing to watch out for is trains. If on a crowded long-distance train, there is probably a “ladies only” car. Use it. For some reason salary men on trains lose their marbles and grope women appallingly. It’s one of the most disgusting phenomena in Japan, actually, so don’t be on the receiving end. Outside of approximate rush hours, especially evening commutes out to the suburbs, it’s not likely to happen, but keep a wary eye out for guys in suits moving toward you in a creepy way. Rape is extremely unlikely, but I doubt very much that you want to be mauled around.

In general, I’d say this country is an excellent place for a woman to explore on her own. You might want to keep your question in mind as you travel, though, and see whether you spot some of the subtler ways in which discrimination occurs: quite interestingly different from home (wherever home is).